The Protocol For Love
by Vega Vendetta
Summary: When Captain Janeway finds herself falling for Tom Paris she realizes it may be impossible to carry on a relationship, Chakotay keeps vying for her love and she finds herself in the middle a split between the senior officers as Tom & Chakotay face off.
1. Chapter 1: Evasive Action

Chapter One: Evasive Action

It was the middle of the night yet the senior officers of the Starship Voyager all stood at attention on the bridge. The red alert klaxons were going off bathing everyone in a hellish glow, faces were grim and postures tense. Though they were all exhausted and had been pulled from sleep none of the bridge crew showed it, right now they were once again fighting for their safety in the Delta Quadrant. Captain Janeway stood next to her chair demanding for a damage report as they were once again hit with weapons from a hostile alien ships. _Damn those Kazons._ She thought, they had been running into Kazon allies more frequently lately it was upsetting her more than she showed. Commander Chakotay stood next to here rigid, this fight was turning out to be to one sided for his liking.

"Shields at 65 percent Captain." Said Harry Kim from his station. "We can't take many more hits like that though." He added. The Captain swore, what kind of creatures opened fire without warning in the middle of the night. They had never met this species, and they obviously weren't interested in negotiating. Little more than space bounty hunters Chakotay had said as they'd rushed onto the bridge.

"Mr. Paris evasive action." Barked Janeway sitting back into her chair, her commanding officer waited a moment then sat beside her happy with her choice to get away from the alien vessel rather than fight. Seconds later they were hit again hard on the port side. Captain Janeway was nearly thrown out of her chair, luckily quick action from Chakotay kept her in place. Their eyes met for a moment a slight smile forming on his face, her skin hot under her uniform where his fingers met her arm. She chose to ignore this and smooth down the jacket of her uniform. "I thought I said evasive action Lieutenant." She yelled trying not to get flustered.

"I'm trying Ma'am. I was in the middle of updating the piloting controls not all of them have come back online yet, and I think one of those hits took out a power source the helm is barley functioning." Said Tom fingers flying across the board in front of him. "I think I can get us out of here but we're going to have to go warp."

Chakotay shook his head in his chair they were barely running on impulse, engineering had been one of the first places hit.

"Shields down to 40 percent Captain." Stated Harry.

Captain Janeway sighed this was definitely not an ideal situation it'd be a dangerous risk but she had to try. "Janeway to Torres we're preparing to go to warp." B'elanna began to interrupt but was silenced. "I know the risks but we need to do this." In a flash they disappeared from the section of dangerous space and traveled for a minute or two before dropping out of warp and using a small moon to orbit around and hide themselves. "Repairs are to began right away, I don't want to be in this part of space longer than necessary." Said the Captain over the comm link. "Chakotay you have the bridge. Lt. Paris a word please." She said sternly strolling off the bridge into her ready room.

By the time he appeared in the room she was sitting at the head of the table arms crossed her eyes a storm gray. At first he thought it best to immediately start in on his apology but seeing her face he quickly changed his tactic to staying silent. He noticed then how disheveled she appeared. Her hair that she'd been growing out had come out of its ponytail and now framed her face falling a little past her shoulders. He could also tell that she was tired, without her usual Captain's air she appeared delicate he noted not for the first time that she was a beautiful, untouchable woman.

"Would you like to explain why during a red alert situation my helm was unresponsive and not because of damage but because you as an operator had made it so?' Tom sighed he had expected this.

"Well Captain part of it was due to damage and the other part was me trying to improve the ship. We've needed to install those system updates for a long time now. Scanners had shown empty space, no threats I thought it'd be a good time to implement them." _This is what I get for trying to go above and beyond _he muttered under his breath yet Kathryn still heard him.

"And I appreciate that Tom." She replied dryly before continuing "but you haven't been yourself in weeks now. I'm relieving you of duty for 2 days."

Tom bristled at this statement not believing what he was hearing. "With all due respect, hell no. I'm fine, I don't need any time off." He had tried so hard to appear normal it was awkward at first and his concentration had lapsed but he thought they were past that. It was obvious that they were or else he wouldn't be alone with the Captain now. It was only the second time they'd been alone together since the Warp/threshold incident. In part it was because he was embarrassed and partly because Chakotay rarely let him near Kathryn now.

Her voice was soft eyes full of concern. She truly cared for Tom at first it was because he was Admiral Paris' son but now she found him quiet endearing and she knew from their time on the ship he was struggling. His attempt at normalcy was fooling no one. "You need to rest Tom, stop trying to put on a brave face and give yourself time really recover. Report back to me in 2 days if you need more time we'll accommodate it."

"I'm fit for duty now! What happened on that planet…" he stuttered for a moment a flush creeping to his face. "Its behind me now and is certainly not hindering me from working." The Captain raised a hand silencing him, there was no point talking she'd made her decision. "This is bullshit." Paris muttered not caring if she heard or not. Of course she did hear but sighed and ignored him.

"Dismissed Mr. Paris."

Two days later Tom was going crazy, he had spent his meals with Harry and all his free time in the holodeck. Unfortunately at the weekly betting ring meeting him and Chakotay had gotten into an argument over something trivial; the higher ranking man had gone to the Captain declaring that he still thought Lt. Paris was unfit for return to work in order to punish him.

"I'm going to go talk to her myself." He decided tired of pacing around the holodeck. He asked the computer for her location, happy t o see that she was in her quarters. _Good I won't have to awkwardly pull her aside. _ There had been tension on the ship after the whole threshold incident with everyone speculating about why Tom had picked her to make lizard babies with. Ever since then people eyed the two of them together curiously though looks had gone from frequent to rare. Tom himself wondered the same thing, he also wondered why now he found her exceptionally attractive. There was no doubt that he had felt that way before but had always put her in the _Don't think about it Paris _category. Now once or twice he'd found himself fantasizing about her, it was disturbing. Oh well it was time to put _those_ thoughts aside and go get cleared for work.

Kathryn Janeway was sitting on the couch in her room reading a report from engineering in a purple silky bathrobe with a cup of coffee steaming on the table beside her. The chime of her door startled her, she hadn't been expecting any visitors. Pulling her robe tighter she stood up and ran her fingers through her hair. _Damn no time to put it up or try to look presentable. _"Enter." She called someone calling this late must have important information she shouldn't make them wait till she was decent. Imagine her surprise when Tom Paris walked in, her eyes narrowed slightly. Mr. Paris had a mischievous look on his face, he wanted something and that was never good. She took in his civilian clothes a white t-shirt and jeans, old Earth clothes he must've been working in his garage holo-program before this, there was grease on his jeans.

In turn Tom took in her scantily clad form appreciating it quickly before remembering his place and raising his blue eyes to her gray ones. "And to what do I owe this pleasure Mr. Paris." Janeway resisted the urge to squirm in her robe as fleeting as his glance was she still noticed the way he took in her form. There was no doubt that Tom was incredibly handsome but he was her helmsman first of all, and second of all she was the Captain, Captains didn't fraternize with the crew in _that_ way. She barely even talked to them at social functions must being to wary to be at ease around her even when she was just "Kathyrn" Since their adventures as lizards though Kathryn and the Captain found themselves thinking about Tom's athletic form more than what was acceptable.

"Just bored no work to do, you're known to keep late hours… thought I'd keep you company." He answered sitting nonchalantly on her sofa. Janeway rolled her eyes, so he was going to annoy her until she reinstated him. Two could play at that game, playing along with his charade she pretended to be pleased. Replicating some wine she sat beside him.

"How fortunate I was just thinking that I could use some distraction from work."

Tom smiled so she was going to play along with him. He decided to see how far he could push her. "I could distract you very easily." He said with a raised eyebrow and his trademark smirk on his face. She looked at him incredulously as he place a hand on her bare knee. _He's just begging for trouble. _ "I'm sure." She purred "but how about we just sit an talk, observe the stars."

Two hours later they both found themselves having a good time laughing and joking with each other like old friends. The many glasses of wine easing the tension that had been between them since the kidnapping, Kathryn had missed Tom's light-hearted personality. "As much fun as this has been I think I should get to sleep. And yes I mean that sincerely, I did have fun. I'll see you on the bridge tomorrow Lieutenant"

"I've been waiting for you to say that all night!" he exclaimed only half kidding. _I've also been waiting for you to say other things but I guess those are just reserved for my idle fantasies. _"I had a good time too Captain, maybe we should do this again sometime."

He got up and started walking towards the door hearing her feet on the Starfleet regulation carpet padding behind him. What he didn't realize was how close behind him she was, turning to say one more goodnight she nearly ran into him. Instinctively his arms shot out, his hands wrapping around her arms to steady her. They were silent for a moment regarding each other warily. His gaze lowered to her mouth, plump and pink… inviting. She knew what was going to come and made no mood to stop it blaming the wine for her lapse in judgment.

Tom's lips met hers hesitantly at first waiting for her to pull away feeling no resistance his pace picked up. Something inside him ignited, how long had he been suppressing this whatever this was. Women that were out of his league had always been his weakness it was a surprise that he hadn't made a move on his elusive Captain before. Her hands wrapped around his neck moving up into his hair, he turned them both around until she was pressed against the bulkhead. She gasped slightly when his cool fingers met the warm flash of her abdomen, his mouth left hers and found purchase on her neck he nipped lightly at the skin.

"Tom." She breathed her voice barely under control, he didn't stop instead he moved his hands down gripping her ass firmly. "Lieutenant." He chuckled so she was trying to pull rank.

"Yes Captain?" Tom whispered in her ear, the feel of his breath making her weak in the knees.

"I can't. I can't do this." Captain Janeway pushed him back removing his hands from her body. Almost composing herself she made the mistake of looking at him. He was flushed, hair messy, eyes bright, sexy from head to toe. _Damn him._

"You don't mean that now do you?" Pulling her close he led her into her own bedroom. They continued kissing more feverishly than before falling onto the bed stripping each other's clothes off. Tom took in her creamy skin, small waist, and long legs. "You're wonderful." He stated breathing in her floral scent.

Kathryn wriggled underneath him as his mouth found her nipple and his fingers found her center. He was teasing her mercilessly and she needed to end this before she chickened out. Already she was beginning to sober up and panic, but she wanted this… she thought. Grabbing his man hood in her right hand she began to stroke it slowly moving up and down its length causing Tom's breath to stop short.

Figuring out what she wanted he removed his fingers and took matters into his own hands guiding himself towards her warm moist entrance. Both moaned as he positioned himself deep inside her. "Tom." She gasped as he started moving his arms propping himself up above her his movements started slow at first and then picked up speed. Halfway through he rolled over pulling her on top of him.

Kathryn shivered as he hit new nerves, she rotated her hips in a circular motion while pumping up and down along his length, her head was down, abs sore trying to hold on. She bent down changing the angle and meeting his soft lips again, their tongues twirling around each other. Her hair was spilling around both of them in a wild curtain she pushed it out of her face and stopped kissing him long enough to deliver a few bites to his neck. Tom was gripping her hips pushing her down and pushing his hips up going as deep as he could, vaguely he thought that he was probably gripping hard enough to bruise but he didn't care. He too was starting to sober up and a wave of trepidation hit him in the stomach _This is the fucking Captain, I'm fucking the fucking Captain. Jesus._ Before he could think more she shifted her position slightly her walls tightening around him and he exploded into her without warning. She cried out as the sensation pushed her over the edge she shook as an intense wave of pleasure reverberated inside her.

There was a moment of awkwardness before she removed him from her core rolling away from him sitting on the edge of the bed. Sensing she needed a moment Tom walked into the bathroom to clean himself up. "What the fuck just happened?" he asked his reflection. Splashing his face with cold water he felt more and more ashamed. Walking back into her room he saw that she hadn't moved and that her shoulders were shaking slightly.

_She's crying. Damn it Paris why can you never control yourself._ When he went over and put his arms around her she made no move to push him off. "It'll be ok this was just, I don't know but don't worry nothing is going to happen. No one will find out.' He assured her.

"That should make me feel better but that's not what's wrong Tom. I'm mad at myself I don't want nothing to happen I want something to happen again… But then I don't know what I want." Said the Captain wiping her face and laying down on her back. "It's late Mr. Paris, stay we might as well enjoy this now because no matter what I personally feel this won't happen again."

The next morning when Kathryn woke up it took a few moments for the events of the night to come back to her. "Oh my god." She said rubbing her eyes. Rolling over she noticed Tom had already left, small favors she didn't think she could face him. "Fuck I told him he was cleared to be on the bridge." She'd only be away from him for at the most another hour.

Arriving on the bridge at 0800 she went straight into her ready room refusing to look at the helm. "Chakotay." She said surprised what in the world was he doing in her ready room without permission. "You aren't supposed to be here. What are you doing?' she asked warily not liking the look in his eyes it was icy, a deep anger almost hurt.

"Funny thing I'm not the only one that isn't where they're supposed to be lately. Last night the 3rd shift pilot fell ill around 0300 I was looking for Mr. Paris to come in as his replacement."

For a moment Kathryn felt her heart stop and stomach drop. _No, this wasn't happening. _ "Imagine my surprise when I found him in your quarters at that hour. I was even more surprised when he stayed there until 0700 presumably to go get ready for his shift. " He paused trying to remain calm but really furious in the inside. "I've made my feelings for you pretty clear Kathryn you're my friend, I'm your first officer, out here I'm your closest equal but you always waved me away saying "You couldn't afford the luxury of a relationship." He got up heading towards the door shaking his head in disgust.

"Chakotay, I…"

"Save it, Captain." He spat out the last word like a curse. "I would've thought that you had better taste than a helmsmen… that helmsmen in particular." With that he walked out, the doors sliding closed with a woosh behind him leaving Kathryn Janeway uncharacteristically shaken.


	2. Chapter 2: Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Chapter Two: Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Tom Paris sat behind them helm of Voyager wishing for his shift to be over, wishing he had a way to fast forward time. He had spent most of his time on the bridge thinking and that was never good. As spontaneous as he was when he sat down and really thought about something he tended to over-think, and worry, and obsess. It was hard to avoid that but especially hard when the object of his thoughts was sitting right behind him. The bridge had been mostly silent all day everyone could feel the tension rolling across the floor. At first Tom had been uncomfortable believing he was the cause for the foul mood, then he realized most of the awkwardness was coming from the command station.

Everyone had seen Chakotay and Janeway emerging from her ready room the former obviously angry the latter appearing anxious. Kathryn prayed that something would go wrong at the right time for once and get her away from the Commander and Tom. When B'elanna called her to engineering she nearly jumped out of her seat with joy. Without even telling Chakotay he was in charge she got up and went inside the turbo lift. Tom took this chance to glance quickly over his shoulder watching the Captain walk away. It was like all of a sudden the filter in his brain had stopped working, instead of thinking like any normal male crew member "The Captain is pretty hot." He thought. _That body damn to have her underneath me again…_

He started blushing uncomfortable with the turn his thoughts had taken, he glanced around him quickly fearing irrationally that someone had heard his thoughts. Chakotay was watching him, no glaring at him, his expression filled with pure malice.

_He knows._ No there was no way he could know, Kathryn would never tell him no matter how close she and the first officer were, she'd be to worried about protocol and how it would look. Still he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd done something wrong in the Commander's eyes, something unforgivable.

Captain Janeway was so relieved to be in the turbolift away from the two men that were causing her thoughts to race and palms to sweat. One in a good way one in a decidedly bad way, sighing she allowed herself to relax for a second leaning her head against the turbo lift wall. "How did I get into this situation? I can take care of a whole ship and her crew, but I can't handle my own personal life." She banged her fist against the wall suddenly very angry. "This is why a Captain is supposed to remain separate! I have no idea what I was thinking…"

"Perhaps you were thinking about getting out of the turbo lift and coming to see what's wrong with the warp core." The condescending voice belonged to none other than B'elanna Torres she smirked and started to walk away knowing the Captain would catch up. Janeway did after a moment shaking her head as she walked, she was really slipping perhaps she needed a visit to sickbay something had to be wrong for her to act this way.

Not soon enough it was 1700 hours and Tom Paris was officially off duty, unfortunately for him this was the same time Chakotay was ending his shift. The two men walked beside each other to the turbo lift both bidding their crewmates goodnight. "Computer Deck 7." Said Tom trying not to shift nervously on the balls of his feet. It'd only been a second when Chakotay's voice rang out around them.

"Computer belay that order." Tom swallowed audibly there was no way that this was going to be good. Chakotay the bigger, more muscular man turned to face the lieutenant looking him up and down, appraising him. "You know Tom every time I get close to thinking you might've changed your ways you do something to prove me wrong. Every single time, I guess the lesson here is that I should follow my instincts and never trust you."

Tom decided it was best to play it dumb give Chakotay what he wanted the typical Paris attitude. "And what have I done to disappoint you now? …sir." He asked tacking the sir on sarcastically knowing how much it irritated his commanding officer. "Considering we were just orbiting around and empty moon all day I don't see how I could've messed that up."

"Don't play dumb with me Paris, I don't know what you did to corrupt her you conniving weasel but I assure you if you touch her again I will personally throw you into the brig." Chakotay eyed Tom as he spoke to him, never blinking.

Tom smirked raising an eyebrow trying to appear braver than he felt. "And if she wants me to touch her?"

Before Tom knew what was happening he was thrown against the wall the air escaping from his lungs in a loud gasp. Chakotay had a handful of his uniform in each fist, their faces inches apart. For a second Tom was genuinely afraid, he knew he'd gone to far.

"Kathryn Janeway is a women with character and class something you'll never understand or have. There is no way in hell she'd ever willingly or soberly let you touch her in that way.

This pissed Tom off more than anything Chakotay had said. He pushed the man back hard with strength he didn't know he had.

"Don't you ever, ever accuse of taking advantage of a women. I don't care how bad you think I am or how shitty of a person I might actually be I would never stoop to that level." They both stood eyeing each other breathing heavily. Chakotay broke the silence first having the decency to appear a little ashamed

"Computer resume lift.

Captain Janeway had a problem, a big problem. Every crewmember on Voyager had DNA samples on file, recently she'd had a certain someone's DNA inside of her… and a certain hologramwould be able to pick that up with the simplest of medical scans. She'd marched into sickbay with every intention of figuring out what was wrong with her but upon this realization she'd quickly deactivated the Doctor. He would of course be angry later and she probably could've just made up an excuse for being in sick bay but she'd already come in an announced that she wasn't feeling like herself.

She was taking this alone time to lie on one of the sick bay beds and contemplate the turn her life was taking. She was a senior officer, a Captain, acting in a way she hadn't even acted when she was an ensign in the academy. It was madness. What would Admiral Paris think his favorite student sleeping with his son. _No I slept with him, I'm not sleeping with Tom. Past tense. _Janeway thought correcting herself. Even after thinking about it almost all day (the times she wasn't thinking about it she was thinking about what Chakotay had said) she still couldn't find any justification for her actions. The wine while loosening her up had not made her lose all her inhibitions, she wasn't desperate for sex or company leaving only one logical conclusion. Could she have some sort of repressed feelings for Tom? It wasn't entirely impossible maybe not feelings but she would consider them friends and he was very handsome… and safe.

Five minutes later she realized that she was just staring at the plain non descript walls of sickbay not thinking slipping into sleep, she was always tired but never found the time to get a full night of good rest. Last night would've been her first night without an emergency in the middle of the night if it hadn't been for Tom. Sighing she sat up carefully so the blood wouldn't rush from her head, if sound found her here just staring at the ceiling with the Doctor off the rumors would go flying. She could practically hear them now."The captain is cracking under the pressure of getting us home." Was she cracking? Is that why her morals had suddenly seemed to disappear, maybe they just disappeared around Tom. There he was again! He'd been creeping into her thoughts all day and then as if she had conjured him up the doors to sickbay slid open and there he was not even ten feet from her.

Clearing her throat she took a step towards the entrance. "Mr. Paris." She said in way of greeting. "I was just leaving."

"Good evening Captain. I was just coming." He flinched, _fuck that sounds awkward. _"Coming into sickbay that is. Computer activate the emergency medical hola-"

"Lieutenant!" Yelled Kathryn cutting him off before he could finish calling the Doctor. "Kindly refrain from activating The Doctor until I leave." She noted the confused look Tom was giving her and felt the need to elaborate. "Earlier he tried to do a medical scan on me." His eyes widened realizing what a completed medical scan would've met.

"Good call deactivating him." Replied Tom. He sensed that their stilted conversation was over and she was about to leave but he couldn't just let her walk away. There were things he wanted to say, things he had waited all day to stay, things that were especially pertinent after his talk with Chakotay. He walked towards her, eyes never leaving her face and grabbed her wrist gently pulling her away from the doors sensor.

"Kath- Captain we need to talk. I need to know something. Did last night happen because you were desperate for company? I know you enough to know even a few glasses of real wine wouldn't cause you to lose your inhibitions enough to sleep with me, I mean a crewmen. The wine might have helped but you still wouldn't go through with it unless…"

"Unless I wanted to?" said Kathryn finishing his sentence. "I've been asking myself these same questions and honestly Tom I don't have an answer. I wasn't starving for sex and I haven't secretly harbored a crush on you for all this time. Things just happened and we'll leave it at that, rest assured it wasn't just about sex though."

Tom took a step towards her judging her reaction to his closeness. He noticed her eyes dilating her breathing becoming shallow, she definitely had some sort of feeling for him. They might have been dormant or even non-existent before but they were there now.

"Maybe you haven't had a crush on me, but I think your developing one." His hand caressed her face from hairline to chin sending shivers down both of their spines. _ I think I'm developing one, and it's not just because the sex was amazing I genuinely had a good time last night just talking to her._ This realization hit him suddenly when and how did this start happening. Pulling her in close he inhaled the floral scent of her hair before lowering his mouth to her lips. Immediately Tom felt her relax, encourage he slipped his hands under her jacket pulling it off and un-tucking her shirt.

Kathryn felt Tom drawing her in under his hypnotic spell, he was just to damn good at this. Her hands found his uniform searching until she was underneath feeling the rock hard planes of his abs against her fingers. The voice of reason in her head picked that moment to start screaming at her unfortunately. With a sigh she pushed herself away.

"Tom I can't do this. It's not right."

"You can do this, we already did and there's nothing wrong about it. Plenty of officers in Starfleet have relationships." Said Tom trying to convince her by bringing her close again nipping at her neck.

"Officers, not the Captain and one of her subordinates. Tom I-" She stopped speaking wondering why on earth she thought that this was a bad idea. Tom had just taken her hands and put them on the growing bulge in his pants. Instantly she had flashbacks of the night before. _One more time couldn't hurt. _

Janeway tried not to think of how many females on the ship he'd done this with as he easily slipped off her pants and placed her on the medical examining bed. His own pants and her underwear were soon to follow as he slid his body in between her legs. There was little time for foreplay someone could walk in at many moment luckily Kathryn was already ready for him to enter her.

"Oh my god." He groaned thrusting inside her. She braced her arms against the other side of the bed so she wouldn't shift around closing her eyes as the sensation inside her began to build. "We're going to have to make this fast." Whispered Tom in her ear as he placed his hand between them making circles with his finger against her sensitive mound. Kathryn moved her hands from the bed to his hair gripping tightly as picked up his pace.

Grasping his bottom lip lightly between her teeth she began to wriggle her hips in time with him. Feverish with need he picked her up and braced her against the wall. At that moment Captain Janeway didn't care if the corner of the wall was digging into her shoulder or who could walk in she only cared about the amazing way Tom was making her feel burying himself deep inside her, slapping her ass, kissing her with intense passion.

"Yes, Tom. That feels so good." She cried barely holding on to her control. The way she said his name made him lose it and so it ended as soon as it begun.

They dressed in silence neither knowing what to say. For a moment she just looked at him her face unreadable before brushing past him and walking out the door. Giving her time to disappear he waited and then followed her awestruck at what had just surmised for the second time in two days this time completely sober, and this time with the Captain going back on her word. She had said it would never happen again and usually when she said something she meant it. Paris allowed himself to feel a little cocky. _It's that old Paris charm._


	3. Chapter 3: All That Jazz

Chapter Three: All That Jazz

It was lunch time on Voyager and the mess hall reflected that most of the officers were on break. Almost every table was full and due to the amount of people the noise level had gone up from the normal or hushed tones people spoke in while on duty. Neelix fluttered around filling coffee now that no one new was coming in, he was unsuccessfully trying to convince someone to try some of his leola root pie for dessert. He was just getting to the table in center where Harry Kim sat with his best friend Tom Paris when Kes waved him over to the kitchen.

"Thank God he didn't make it over here." Said Tom leaning back running both his hand through his hair.

Harry laughed then said only half-jokingly "Oh you know he'll come back." Both men looked around pretending to be watching out for the over-zealous Talaxian. Tom's gaze landed on Captain Janeway and Chakotay sitting in the corner next to the window at the table next to Tuvok; the unofficial corner for the most senior bridge crew officers. Tom unconsciously scowled noting how intimate they looked, Kathryn was laughing at something with her hand on Chakotay's shoulder. _How can she have anything in common with that asshole?_ He thought, his mood must've changed because Harry followed his gaze and gave him a curious look.

"How are things with you and Chakotay I know he was pissed when he couldn't find you to pilot when the ensign got sick but that was two weeks ago." Harry had been dying to ask what was going on but he wasn't one to pry, he could tell that things were even more awkward and tense than normal between his friend and commander.

Tom answered without missing a beat easily lying through his teeth. "Things are fine Harry, as fine as they're going to be between me and him. I think he's warming up to me actually." In truth things were still pretty bad and would've been worse if not for the Captain. Apparently after their rendezvous in sick bay she'd had dinner with Chakotay and explained that Tom had came to her drunk begging to be back on the bridge and fell asleep on her couch nothing more. Not exactly putting Tom in the best light but he had to admit it was believable behavior for him. Kathryn had told him all this hurriedly the day after and since had only talked to him or looked at him when giving him an order, it was driving him crazy.

Harry's voice cut into his thoughts like a knife delivering a sharp pain that twisted his heart when he realized what he was hearing. "So did you hear? Chakotay is taking the Captain to Neelix's party tonight. Almost everyone is going and he picked her…"

Tom felt sick, his stomach was in knots, "That can't be true Harry."

"I swear it is! But my friend duty calls I'll see you tonight." Said the ensign standing up and patting his friend on the back.

Not wanting to sit alone and be tempted to stare at Chakotay Tom got up right after Harry to walk around the ship a bit to clear his head. There was no reason for him to feel like this, she wasn't his girlfriend she wasn't even an extremely close friend. He felt drawn to her thought just one night without her Captain's airs and pretenses had enthralled him. She was a warm, funny, down to earth girl and when she let go of her control he felt that he had a chance to get to know her. On the bridge she was on a pedestal far, far above him. _Admit it Paris you have a crush on the Captain, but there's nothing you can do about it. _"Maybe now that I've admitted it to myself it'll go away." He said aloud getting into the turbo lift and calling for deck one. Time to get back to work and try not to think of what Kathryn and Chakotay were doing going to a ship function together.

That night Kathryn Janeway stood in front of the mirror kicking herself for agreeing to go to Neelix's latest morale event. He had gotten together with Tom to create a program in the holodeck of a twentieth century ballroom in Spain. He promised that it would be scintillating and lively and that the Spanish had been very sensual people. He had also said that the color of the night was red but Kathryn felt that everyone saw her in red to often so she picked a dress of deep blue. It was sleeveless and tight ending in the lower mid thigh region. Her shoes were the same deep blue and high heeled, very high heeled.

_I look ridiculous, I was going for sexy but this might be to much._ Her long hair flowed around her shoulders and moved as she turned to inspect her butt. _I should change-_ Just then her door chimed announcing that her date had arrived. _Guess there's no going back now._ She thought taking a deep breath and steeling her nerves. "Enter."

Chakotay walked in, eyes flicking around the room until they landed on Janeway half hidden in the shadows. As she stepped out and he got a good look at her his breath stopped short. _Oh my God she looks amazing, gorgeous, sexy… _Before his thoughts could take a turn for the worse he spoke aloud. "That is quite a dress. You look beautiful."

"Why thank you Commander." Still shy about how very little she had covered she took a step toward him heading to the door.

"Kathryn this is a social function come now don't be shy and don't use rank. Loosen up you deserve some fun." While he was speaking he had stepped closer to her their bodies only inches apart. "You really look stunning." He said. She saw the kiss happening before he did it giving her a chance to turn her head so that he just pecked her lightly on the cheek. "Its nice to see your hair down."

"Comm-Chakotay I think we should be going to party has already started." Captain Janeway really didn't care if she was late or if she went to the party at all but she did care about being alone with Chakotay for to long. Part of her had always suspected his feelings for her but ever since he'd admitted them she found herself wary. Before she probably would've been delighted, Chakotay was a good man, handsome and they did have a spark but one man had been occupying her mind lately and she hated herself for it. She also hated herself for being excited to see his reaction to her outfit when she arrived in the holodeck.

"Holy shit." Blurted out Harry spewing out his 3rd shot almost getting it on B'elanna.

"Harry what the- Oh my, Holy shit." Said B'elanna noticing what Harry was looking at. Tom had his back to them he'd been ordering another his 5th shot (he was no lightweight) when this exchanged happened. He started turning around his drink in hand laughing at his two friends.

"What's wrong with you guys?" His eyes went over his head and to the entrance where the Captain and Chakotay had just arrived. Of course they'd been immediately surrounded but Tom could still see the Captain and her dress through the crowd of people. "Wow, I mean wow." He said incredulous, just that one look had cause his blood to start flowing faster he got the feeling, that he would probably do something stupid tonight and convince Kathryn to do it with him.

"The Captain looks fucking hot." Said one of the lieutenants from engineering.

"Agreed." Harry and Tom said without thinking at the same time. Both looked at each other and blushed. It was an unofficial rule to not talk about the Captain that way woman or not.

Across the room Kathryn's eyes had flicked up from the crewmen around her to the bar where she saw Tom with Harry and B'elanna. He wore black slacks and a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up looking nonchalant but she could see the way his eyes were flicking back and forth trying to look anywhere but at her. Eventually he lost the battle with himself and let his eyes settle first on her face, they then traveled slowly up and down her body before coming back to rest on her face. She watched as a slow smile spread on his face.

"Hi." He mouthed raising his glass to her.

"Dance with me?" asked Chakotay whispering his request in her ear. Nodding her head slightly she turned to walk to the dance floor with him looking back to see how Tom's face had fallen. She felt a slight pang of guilt. _Ugh I have no reason to feel guilty there is nothing going on between me and Tom, yes I like him… Shit! _The one thought she'd been repressing for two weeks had slipped out. She, Kathryn Janeway had developed feelings for her helmsmen they weren't all sexual but they weren't too emotionally deep either. They hadn't spent enough time together for that and in her heart she knew she wasn't opposed to spending more time with him even if it was wrong.

Chakotay pulled her out of her thoughts as his hands slipped around her waist pulling their bodies closer and swaying them to the beat. As the song continued his hands drifted down farther and farther lightly resting on the top of her ass. Unwillingly Janeway shivered, Chakotay did have a certain sex appeal he was quite mysterious. They took a break and had a few drinks before getting back to the dance floor around an hour later.

He pulled her close again hands resuming their place low on her waist. He leaned forward bending his head to whisper in her ear. "I want you." Said the first officer simply. Janeway pulled away from him startled.

"I feel a little tipsy, I think I should sit down." She said abruptly turning away from him pushing through the throng of people going to the opposite end of the bar as Tom.

Somehow Tom, Harry, and B'elanna had migrated back to the bar after dancing a little, Neelix joined them now along with some other crew members all of them speculating and betting on the Captain and Chakotay making things official after tonight.

"Did you see that dress and how they were dancing? He is so staying in her quarters tonight." Said someone.

"I bet they had sex before they even got here, that's why they were late." Added another.

And finally, "Everyone saw this coming they're so alike who else on this ship would either one of them pair off with, they're the commanding officers.

At this last comment Tom couldn't hold his tongue any longer. "What so the rest of us don't have a chance? I'm going to ask her to dance!" Everyone laughed not taking him seriously. Their laughter died out however when he stood up and began to walk to the other end of the bar.

"Tom your drunk come back here." Called Harry loudly. Tom just flicked him off and kept walking. "Your funeral." Muttered Harry shaking his head., the group watched waiting to see Tom fail miserably. They were shocked when they saw the Captain laughing with him and offering him her hand.

"I couldn't avoid you anymore. I'm sorry if this makes things weird, but I need to dance with you." Said Mr. Paris coming to a stop in front of Kathryn.

"I knew you'd make the first move, I'm surprised it took you this long. Its not polite to keep a lady waiting."

"Oh you weren't waiting you were busy moving around with your date for this evening."

Kathryn noticed that he couldn't quite hide the malice in his voice.

"Come on Tom." She said in a slightly commanding voice, it was not the place to have _that_ conversation. She held out her hand for him to take, he grabbed it gently and led the way to the dance floor. By now everyone was drunk and had gotten over the shock of seeing their Captain being sexy so Kathryn could almost blend in. This song was a fast tempo with deep bass. She danced closer and closer to him rubbing against him getting into the music. Smirking she noted that she could feel his growing hardness against her hip.

"I like this side of you." He said trying to keep his voice even.

"I'm drunk." Tom burst out laughing at her response, pure honesty.

"I am too but even if I wasn't I would still go up to you and say tonight I'm paying a visit to your quarters. Unless we were on the bridge then I'd wait till you went to your ready room and tell you in there… or take you in there."

Tom's words sent heat straight to her core, how could simple words make her this aroused. "You wouldn't. I would like a visit thought I think there's things we need to discuss." She said whispering pressing her body against him.

"We can talk after…" Tom trailed lost in his instincts and lust placing a kiss on her lips in the middle of the party.

"Tom! What are you thinking." Janeway whisper-yelled heart suddenly racing, praying that no one had seen; everyone was to busy wrapped up in their own drunken worlds. Well everybody but one person.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Kathryn."

"Tom!"

"I mean Captain," Tom was mentally kicking himself he must've drunk more than he thought to pull a stunt like that, it was then when he noticed who was walking, no charging towards him "Fuck."

"I warned you Paris, I warned you and you crossed the line." Yelled Chakotay not caring who heard, Janeway grabbed his arm trying to pull him away from Voyager's pilot.

"Don't' cause a scene Chakotay." She whispered frantic. People were going to figure out why they were fighting.

Angrily Chakotay pulled his arm from her hand not even wanting her near him after what he had seen. "Your scum Tom. A manipulative asshole, no wonder your father was so disappointed in you, no wonder you're a traitor that can't do anything right."

"Commander!" yelled Captain Janeway abandoning hope to reason with him and assuming command. She knew Chakotay was drunk or else he would never have done this he was much to private. She needed to end this before he or Tom could do much more damage to regret in the morning. She turned looking for Tuvok and in that second all hell broke loose. A loud crunch brought her attention back to the two men.

Chakotay was clutching his face and Tom was shaking his hand. Blood started seeping between Chakotay's fingers and a grin spread across Tom's face. Horrified she put two and two together. All of her attention turned to Tom. "You broke his nose?"

"And you thought I would make a scene." Muttered Chakotay from behind his hands, Janeway sighed knowing that this incident was going to cause a lot of drama she couldn't deal with now It was to late, and she was to out of sorts.

"Commander I'm taking you to sickbay. Tuvok please escort Mr. Paris to the brig."


	4. Chapter 4: Simple As

Chapter Four: Simple As…

"Well that should do it, you're all patched up Commander." Said the emergency medical hologram shutting his tricorder and placing his dermal regenerator on the table. Chakotay gingerly touched his nose pleased to see that there was no residual soreness. He hopped off the bed with a nod to the doctor, ignoring the Captain he headed out of sickbay into the corridor.

Janeway had been waiting in the office with her head down while the doctor took a look at Chakotay, upon hearing the doors of sickbay close she jumped up and said goodbye to the doctor. Walking at a brisk pace she caught up with him as he reached the turbo lift. They rode in silence until they reached the deck that housed his personal quarters. He exited without a word leaving her stunned for a second before she once again started following him.

"Chakotay wait we need to discuss this. I want to make sure your feeling okay." She called down the hall to his retreating figure.

"You obviously don't care about how I'm feeling." Came his voice, he showed no sign of stopping until he reached his door. Janeway jogged a little cursing her tight dress and high heels. He stopped in front of his door right as she reached him. Pushing him to the side she stood in front of his door denying him access until they got things sorted out.

Chakotay looked at her for a moment before sighing, he could see that she was determined to stand there for as long as it took to fix things. "Why are you doing this?' he finally asked.

"Because you're my friend Chakotay I do care about you." She said swallowing nervously hoping he didn't misconstrue her words. Despite the fact that Tom's kiss had electrified her she felt ashamed at his behavior and hers. She'd hurt one of her closest friends, nearly damaged her good name, and helped damage two of her best officers reputations.

"I meant why are you doing _this_, why are you sleeping with Tom?"

"I'm not, there's nothing between me and him." Said Janeway looking into Chakotay's eyes willing him to believe her.

"You're already picking up his bad habits, lying to your friends." Said Chakotay entering his access code tired and ready for bed he didn't want this night to last a moment longer. "Excuse me." he said pushing past her.

"Wait, okay its hard for me to say this but yes we did sleep together once, it was nothing." Said Janeway entering his living space behind him. Chakotay tensed visibly the words he'd been expecting hurting more than he thought they would.

"Kathryn, why? You aren't one to do something like that for no reason. No matter what you say it wasn't nothing, it was something, something with Tom Paris of all people. Christ it couldn't have even been someone with half a chance of deserving you?"

Captain Janeway found herself chastised by his remarks, she felt dirty and completely unlike herself. "You think to highly of me Chakotay." She whispered. He shrugged then stood with his arms folded. Kathryn knew it was time for her to leave and that only time could heal the wound she'd delivered to her first officer tonight.

The next morning dawned much to early for anyone's liking after the excitement of last night. Tuvok stood in the lowest deck of Voyager acting as a guard to the prisoner in the brig. He watched with carefully controlled amusement as his charge gathered his bearings.

Tom came to with the taste of alcohol still on his tongue and his nose smelling the stagnant moldy air smell of a room that hadn't been used in a long time. He was laying on something hard surely not his bed and he was still dressed, usually he slept nude what the hell had happened last night. Sitting up and opening his eyes he shut them immediately the light was much to bright and his head was reeling from the quick motion. _This is a bad hang over or I'm still slightly drunk. Will it never end.?_ He asked himself, cautiously he opened his left eye then his right giving them time to adjust to the bright lights of the room. _Am I, am I in the brig?_ Sleep had clouded his memory but as he began to think more the evens of last night began to play through his mind like a vivid film.

Tom scooted to the wall pressing his back against it and folding his knees to rest his arms on them. "Fuck me." He said dropping his head down. How could he have been so reckless last night, hitting Chakotay, kissing the Captain? It was the same reckless behavior from his younger years that had gotten him into trouble. It was then that he noticed Tuvok in front of him standing with his arms behind his back seemingly at ease.

"Tuvok." Croaked Tom, he cleared his throat and tried again. "Tuvok. Has anyone come to see me?"

"It is the Commander, and the Captains explicit instructions that you are not allowed to have visitors so, no Mr. Paris no one has come to see you." Tuvok answered in his typical Vulcan monotone raising an eyebrow daring Tom to question him.

"Of course it is." Mumbled Tom looking down dejectedly.

"I will inform the Captain that you are now awake perhaps she will come see you soon and you'll be permitted to leave before the day is over."

"That'd be nice Tuvok." _ Weird why is he being so helpful, I must be in some deep shit._

"Tuvok to Janeway."

"Go ahead Tuvok." Was Janeway's reply a couple seconds later. Just hearing her voice filled Tom with a mix of desire and regret. Whatever they had, if it was anything at all was ruined now.

"Mr. Paris has regained consciousness, your presence in the brig is needed." There was no reply for a full minute, Tuvok looked puzzled or as closed to puzzled as a Vulcan could. "Captain your presence is requested in the brig."

"I know Tuvok. I'm on my way. Janeway out."

Tom sighed not even wanting to think about how his ass was about to be handed to him. Apparently all of Tuvok's friendliness was gone because he made no mood to start a conversation only staring at the door and exiting when Captain Janeway entered.

Kathryn stood in front of Tom regarding him coldly her eyes unreadable until the doors closed with a hiss signaling that Tuvok was far gone. Tom stood getting as close to the force field that encased the brig as he could folding his arms not wanting to be the one that broke the silence. Janeway sighed closing her eyes and shaking her head; stepping to her left she put in a code bringing the force field down allowing Tom to step out.

"I don't even know what to say here Tom." She said throwing her hands up, she shook her head again before placing her hands on her hips. _ When in doubt assume the Captain's pose_ she said to herself. "Don't even bother apologizing nothing you could say could fix what you did." She saw him start to protest and cut him off. "Not that it was all your fault Chakotay crossed a line too but you physically assaulted him Tom in front of half the crew! It was embarrassing how do you think he feels?"

Tom laughed but it wasn't a pleasant one. "How does he feel? How do you think I feel? I know I screwed up and I know I'm going to get punished, but I'm going to get punished twice. Once in front of everyone that I can sort of handle it won't be the first time but then there's you and dealing with your disappointment and the inevitable avoidance I know you want nothing to do with me…"

"You have no idea what I want." Kathryn interjected suddenly furious who was Tom to tell her how she was going to act. " If I could have what I wanted none of this would be a problem. Chakotay would know where him and I stood because I'd be unavailable. Tom I wanted you to kiss me honestly I probably led you on to much last night, by the time the fight broke out I had every intention of, well repeating past experiences with you against my better judgment. You will be punished as a Captain I have to do that but you won't be personally punished by me."

Tom couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had to still be dreaming nothing good like this ever happened to him "Chakotay is going to be watching us like hawks.' He said finally.

"You know a little bird told me how to reroute the comm.-badge signal to various places. How about we talk tonight in my quarters while "your in your quarters." Janeway said grinning. "Oh and your suspended from bridge duty for a week and for one month you have shifts in sickbay."

"Aye aye Captain." Said Tom faux-saluting her not caring that he was going to be bored out of his mind for a week and have to deal with the snarky doctor. He had a date with Kathryn tonight.

Tom spent the rest of the day hiding out in his quarters not wanting to rejoin the crew with the memory of him decking Chakotay fresh in their minds. Harry had come to visit him during lunch, arriving with a joking shout of "He lives!"

"Yeah I'm all in one piece for now." Laughed Tom. "I'm sure it won't stay that way for long once I get out of here and Chakotay gets his hands on me."

Harry shook his head his friend was a dead man walking. "So are you going to share why you punched our commanding officer in the face?"

"I was drunk Harry and he was irritating me do I need more of an excuse?" asked Tom

"_You_ don't but someone else would, sometimes I think you feed off negative attention, like you need it to live." Harry had stayed for most of lunch entertaining Tom with all the stories going around the gossip mill about the incident. "Someone said you guys were fighting over the Captain, they said her and that dress just made you both crazy."

Tom feigned innocence he hated lying to his best friend but… "Even if I was drunk enough to punch Chakotay I would never be drunk enough to try to pick up the Captain that would be like suicide."

"That's what I told them!" Exclaimed Harry, "Don't worry I have your back… like always I need to do something so you'll have to watch my back for a change."

Tom laughed walking his friend to the door. "Oh Harry your much to smart to get yourself into scrapes like I do, don't take lessons from me. I should be taking lessons from you!"

In the blink of an eye evening had fallen and Voyager was on a course for and M-class planet that Neelix said would be wonderful to have shore leave on. It was a silent agreement that everyone needed some time off the ship to blow off some steam. On a ship that small toes were bound to get stepped on and little problems could escalate case and point the night before. The last thing on the agenda for the day was the senior officer meeting in the bridges ready room, it was there that the decision to go to the M-class planet was made. With nothing else needing to be discussed the bridge crew left to retire to their rooms glad to be off duty, the late night had worn on all of them all day.

Kathryn stood staring out the window believing herself to be alone. She was pondering for the umpteenth time how exactly she would get this ship home, the thought of disappointing her crew made her heartache. None of them had asked for this yet here they were stranded and all the responsibility to return them home was hers, it was enough to drive a person mad with worry. She jumped a little when someone cleared his throat behind her.

"You seem really worried tonight." Stated Chakotay "You know me, Tuvok, B'elanna, hell even Harry can help you. Finding a way home isn't just your burden."

"I know that Chakotay but its more of my burden than anyone else's and I have to deal with that on top of the fact that were low on rations like always, this ship seems to get smaller every day, and oh let's see two of my chauvinistic officers decided to get in a fist fight last night." Janeway said rubbing her temple.

"I wasn't the one that started the fight-"

"Save it." Said Janeway cutting in. "I don't care about whatever vendetta you two have against each other you need to solve it."

Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "Really Captain you know what this is about. Stop seeing him. As your friend I'm trying to give you good advice its not just about me being jeal-jealous."

"While I appreciate your concern I think I can handle my own affairs." Janeway stood up preparing to leave she wasn't going to sit hear and listen to this, it would just put doubts in her head and she had made up her mind.

"He's to spontaneous for you, I warned him he didn't listen. He couldn't even control himself when you put on a fucking dress how can he keep a professional appearance when he's working. "

"What do you mean you "warned" him? No don't tell me, I can't believe you, either one of you this is the behavior for children." Hissed Janeway as she tried to walk past her first officer. He grabbed her around the waist causing her to stop. "Really Chakotay."

"Think about this, do you want to lose the crews respect." He asked in a whisper. His eyes looked directly into hers daring her to lie. She couldn't help but turn away feeling slightly defeated that was a low blow. Chakotay knew hard she tried to keep the respect of Voyager's inhabitants.

"And what if I was with you they'd applaud out relationship?" she asked knowing the answer would be yes. For her to be with Tom a subordinate was just odd, the thing is they weren't even together. "Don't answer, I'm not doing anything wrong Chakotay, I'm socializing with my crew nothing more."

His hands ran up her body to her neck before following the curves back down. _I might as well take a risk, since she apparently like risky behavior._ He thought before placing a kiss on her, when she didn't resist he deepened the kiss his tongue exploring her mouth. "Just know that if your lonely you have options." He whispered before letting go of her.

"I know I do." She whispered back, sitting down watching him walk away bringing two fingers to her lip. A moment later she followed him out, "What the hell is wrong with the men on this ship!" she exclaimed leaving the briefing room with an exasperated sigh.

A few hours later Tom was peeking his head out of his quarters trying to see if he was in the clear, he felt a little juvenile but he didn't want anymore attention than he already had on him especially if someone saw him heading to the Captain's quarters this late. He had nearly made it there through a round about route when he turned a corner and stopped dead in his tracks. Chakotay was leaving B'elanna's quarters with his medicine bundle in hand.

"If you ever need some more help reaching your spirit guide let me know B'elannna." Said Chakotay slipping out of her room and into the hall. His eyes fell on Tom standing stationary a few feet away. "Your out pretty late Tom."

"Just going to visit Harry, sir." Said Tom nervously. He didn't doubt that Chakotay had some kind of payback planned for him. The commander was looking at him with a smug expression making it hard for Tom to figure out his mood.

The first officer started stepping towards Tom still acting casual "Isn't Harry on duty tonight? I could've sworn he had a double shift."

"I haven't been around the ship today, I didn't know that. Thanks for the information." Paris paused gathering his courage." I'm sorry about last night Commander I really don't know what came over me."

Chakotay held up his hand signaling for Tom to stop. "Mr. Paris its ok I understand and I apologize for the things I said to you they were uncalled for."

Tom was really caught off guard this had to be a trick, Chakotay was a forgiving person but he was also a Maquis and wasn't afraid to fight. He had to have something up his sleeve.

"Between you and me… Kathryn is worth fighting for but you've lost that fight. Her and I had a little discussion after the bridge crew meeting and let's just say your little stunt helped things in my favor." Chakotay said grinning at Tom clearly thinking he had the upper hand as he walked past the lieutenant.

"I see." Murmured Tom, perhaps his meeting tonight with Janeway wasn't what he thought it was. Minutes later he reached Janeway's cabin and she stepped outside quickly dragging him to the turbo lift before anyone could come along.

"I thought we could go to Sandrine's tonight actually." She said. Once they reached the holo-deck Tom activated the program in silence stepping back allowing Janeway to go in first. The night passed uneventfully with them just talking and playing pool. Kathryn could see that Tom was more subdued than normal and as the night progressed he became more and more introverted. "Tom is something wrong, I thought you'd enjoy a familiar environment."

He smiled the ghost of the smirk he usually wore. "I'm fine Captain."

"Captain?" she questioned raising an eyebrow.

Tom sighed putting down his pool stick. "I call you Kathryn last night and you wanted Captain, tonight I call you Captain and you want Kathryn. You say things with us are nothing yet you keep allowing yourself to be alone with me, and flirting with me. If that wasn't confusing enough your obviously saying and doing the same thing with Chakotay do you even know what you want?" He was breathing heavily after his impromptu speech his emotions finally bubbling over.

"First of all we were in public Tom you have to maintain a professional appearance. With you I don't know what I want, actually I do I just know its not right." Janeway walked around the pool table so that she could speak softly to him. "and I assure you I'm not doing the same thing with Chakotay." _Minus whatever the hell happened earlier_ she mused then pushed that thought out of her head. "I wanted to meet with you tonight to get to know you more if we're going to do whatever this is we're going to do it right it won't be just about sex."

As she spoke she'd gotten even closer to him when she finished she hooked two fingers around the waistband around his pants. "The sex is nice though." She breathed standing on her toes to kiss him. He responded slowly kissing her back lightly running his hand through her hair causing it to fall from her bun and cascade around her face.

"What are we doing?." He whispered nuzzling his nose in hair, slipping his hands in-between them tugging at the buttons of her jacket. Once that was off he slipped her turtleneck over her head lowering his mouth to the smooth flesh of her collarbone. Her own hands found the hem of his shirt and took it off hating that to do that his lips had to break contact with her flesh. Both of their pants came off next leaving them nearly bare standing in the middle of Sandrine's.

"Computer delete characters." Tom said huskily as he picked Kathryn up and laid her on the table. "I'm glad you're not opposed to sex in public places." She moaned as his hands came into contact with her center, he moaned in turn when her hands wrapped around his growing member. Tom began trailing kisses down her abdomen not stopping until he replaced his fingers with his tongue.

"Tom!" Janeway gasped. She hadn't thought they were at this level of intimacy yet. "Oh, please" she moaned he was so good, so talented at this he piloted her body as carefully as he piloted the ship. Without warning his tongue stopped and he stood up positioning himself right above her. He looked into her eyes seeing them clouded with passion, she was biting her lip waiting for what was to come. Suddenly he had a flash of her in this same position with Chakotay in the briefing room.

The image only lasted a fraction of a second but it was enough. Her and the first officer, they were so close, they had arrived to the dance together, his stunt had given Chakotay "the upperhand" there was no way at one point they hadn't been intimate together. She was closer to Chakotay then she was with Tom and they'd hooked up almost three times now. Janeway sat up wondering why Tom had stopped.

What's wrong?" the Captain asked covering herself feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. Tom handed her uniform to her in silence grabbing the pieces of his own clothing, pulling on his pants. "Tom what's going on?" she asked frantic feeling like this situation was spinning out of control.

"I'm sorry Kathryn, I don't think I'm the one you should be doing this with. I would love to build something with you but… you were right this is wrong."

This was the best answer he could give her, he could never tell her that in his mind he was in a competition with Chakotay and that was a competition he would never win.


	5. Chapter 5: In The Dark

Chapter Five: In The Dark

Voyager orbited around a small M-class planet slicing through space smoothly as delegates from the ship met with government officials from the planet below. From space the planet looked quite similar to earth the green vegetation surrounded by blue waters though not as far apart as Earth's continents. Captain Janeway, Tuvok, and Neelix had been on the surface for three hours now making a deal with the planets leaders in order to ensure that Voyager's crew would be permitted shore leave. Negotiations shouldn't have been taking this long, according to Neelix the people were very friendly and peaceful, figuring out shore leave should've been a breeze.

"Any word from the away team Mr. Kim?" Chakotay asked from his command chair.

"No word Sir, but no problems either." Replied Harry from his station.

Chakotay sighed quietly there was nothing they could do but wait, he couldn't help feeling antsy though the thought of getting off the ship was very appealing. Looking forward out of view screen he imagined days feeling the planet's sun on his skin smelling the aroma of natural plants and flowers. _Perhaps some alone time with Kathryn._ This last thought came unbidden into his mind. Since they had kissed three days earlier they hadn't had a chance to talk privately. If he hadn't seen Tom with Harry so much he would've irrationally suspected that she was spending all of her time with him.

His eyes moved from the view screen to the head of the man in question. _Tom Paris… what do so many women see in him? He's a flyboy, cocky, admittedly handsome, but he's a waste of time not someone you would settle down with. _Maybe that's why he was so attractive because women knew there was no chance of anything coming from a relationship with him.

Tired of waiting on the bridge with no return of the away team in sight Chakotay excused himself to the ready room, perhaps he could get some PADD's read and get ahead of his work before his vacation. He had only been alone for close to ten minutes when there was a knock on the door. "Come in." Chakotay called laying his PADD face down.

"I'd like to talk to you for a second if you didn't mind." Said Tom hovering near the door waiting for Chakotay to send him out.

"What can I do for you Tom?" the commander asked warily

"I wanted to speak to you off the record about the Captain."

Chakotay nodded he thought that might be what this is about. "Lieutenant I think this is hardly the place."

"Then let's take a walk, we need to discuss this." Said Tom forcefully refusing to back down Chakotay couldn't just keep dismissing this, it was a big issue.

"Fine take a walk with me to engineering."

Once out of sight and earshot of anyone they began to speak. Tom spoke first explaining to Chakotay that he finally understood what he meant. "I'm not going to lie, I do have feelings for her but messing around with me has already been a disaster for her. She needs someone that understands consequences and the pressure she's under. I get that, that's not me right now but I can change. Its also not necessarily you either. Its her choice as to who she wants."

Chakotay digested all of this trying to form an unbiased answer. "Tom it's very big of you to realize this. I know she is beginning to consider you a close friend and you can still be there for her as I am, just in a different way."

Tom arched an eyebrow chuckling so Chakotay thought he was just handing Kathryn over like that? No he had done some thinking over the past few days and Chakotay might be what the Captain needed but he wasn't what she wanted. They hadn't spoken but Tom knew somehow that if he had a chance to get her alone everything would be fixed. "You misunderstand me Commander, I'm not giving her up until she decides what she wants and between you and me I think its me." He said with a wink.

"Tom if you think she is going to want anything to do with your after your behavior at the party you are sadly mistaken." Hissed Chakotay flabbergasted, Paris really had the balls to pull him aside just to taunt him.

"Kim to the Commander, the away team has returned." Came Harry's voice from Chakotay's comm badge.

"I'm on my way to transporter room two. Chakotay out." The commander brushed past Tom hitting his shoulder forcefully. "Don't think this is over." He said before walking away.

"No it's just starting." Said Tom to an empty hallway.

A hour later Voyager docked on the planets surface. The atmosphere was calm and serene, the weather enjoyable and the hospitality went above and beyond. There was one thing putting the crew out of ease though, the threat of an enemy looming above them. A Kazon ship had been spotted in the area as Voyager had made its descent onto the surface of Farsial, the planet. It was their hope that they weren't spotted and that the Kazon would not make a visit to the surface.

Captain Janeway sat in the room that had been assigned to her relaxing in the natural hot spring. Instead of a shower the ambassador rooms came with an isolated spring fed by the large spring that provided energy for the whole colony. They used techniques much like old Earth farming techniques to distribute the water. After a day of negotiations it was nice to just have a place to sit and close her eyes. The Farsialians had been hesitant to let them stay because of the threat in the air, if it hadn't been for the Kazon coming in the meeting would've lasted ten minutes. As it was Janeway had to go back to the ship to bring Chakotay down with her, she had been out of patience and he was always so good at reasoning.

That night there was to be a welcoming party and Janeway just couldn't get motivated to go, she would of course to show support but she knew she wouldn't have a good time. She sighed stepping out of the spring into her robe there was time to sit and relax before she needed to get ready. Chakotay was escorting her to the party of course, he said it was for "security reasons" but that was highly doubtful. "I wish it was Tom taking me." She mused aloud not even surprised at the thought. The past few days she'd wished for Tom a lot.

As a Captain and a sensible, logical person once she made a decision she liked to see it through, her decision to start a relationship with Tom had been a hard one but exciting, then he had rejected her… He had rejected her so easily it was a blow that had really hurt, and it was humiliating. Many times had she chastised herself for catching feelings so fast for a person she normally wouldn't have ever seen herself with. Tonight would be terrible seeing him dancing with one of the numerous beautiful, young local girls. They had been eyeing him earlier and a flare of jealousy had made itself known to the Captain. She had clenched her fist and walked away but not before catching Tom's eye.

Chakotay's voice coming from her comm badge brought her back to reality. "Captain I'll be at your room in a few minutes."

Suppressing another sigh she concocted a lie quickly. "That's not necessary Commander I fell asleep and am running late, I'll meet you at the party within the half hour. Go enjoy yourself, that's an order. Janeway out."

Pouring a full of glass of Farsialin alcohol apparently the strongest in the sector she sat legs crossed on her bed staring out the window. _Everything is bearable when your drunk_ she thought.

Forty five minutes later Chakotay found the Captain on her bed sleeping on her side, robe slightly open giving him a wonderful view of the curve of the right side of her body.

"Kathryn wake up." He whispered in her ear shaking her shoulder gently. "You have to come to the party everyone is expecting you."

Her eyes fluttered open and she brought her hand to her face rubbing her eyes. "I'm so sorry Chakotay I don't know how this happened, I meant to have a quick drink and come over." She sat up slowly causing the robe to open a little bit more. Chakotay couldn't help a glance at her bare form. Noticing his gaze Kathryn looked down realizing that she had never gotten dressed after her bath. The Farsialian liquor was still strong in her system giving her a lovely warm, happy feeling. Making no move to close the robe she took in her first officers form.

His black top showed off the well-developed muscles in his chest fitting tightly in all the right places. A smile began to form on his lips as he realized what she was doing. _ So much for Tom having the upper hand _he thought.

"I think the party can wait a little longer." Janeway said her unspoken invitation hanging in the air. What Chakotay didn't know was that it was an unspoken _drunk_ invitation he had no idea that the Captain had drank the Earth equivalent to 4 glasses of hard liquor. If he had the fact that she was even speaking clearly would've been impressive and he wouldn't have taken advantage of the situation.

"I agree." Chakotay said sitting next to her. Hesitantly he placed a kiss on her bared shoulder, her skin soft and warm underneath his lips. He began to place more on her bare skin past her collarbone till he reached her lips. "This is unexpected." He whispered trailing his hands through her long soft hair. Janeway answered with a kiss not wanting to talk just wanting to get rid of all thoughts of Tom.

Chakotay pushed the robe the rest of the way off leaving Kathryn completely naked before him. He nearly moaned at the sight this was to good to be true. Pulling off his shirt he felt pleased as Kathryn's eyes ogled his chest. Slowly he laid her down his hands caressing her body, one began to squeeze her breast as the other traveled farther down. As his fingers entered her Janeway sighed closing her eyes. The release that Tom had deprived her of would be coming soon. Chakotay lowered his mouth to her breast while still working her core sending shivers down her spine. He could feel his growing hardness in his pants begging to be let out.

"Don't stop." Said Janeway in a husky whisper as Chakotay removed himself from her body to take off his pants and boxers. Eyes still closed she pouted until suddenly she cried out. Her eyes flew open meeting Chakotay's before looking down and seeing his large, very large hard penis inside her. She already felt so full she didn't know how he would move there couldn't be any space for him to thrust.

"You're so wet, it feels amazing." Said Chakotay as he slowly began to move inside her. Just one push hit so many nerves Janeway almost came instantly. Never before had she been with anything like that, it was sure to be extraordinary. He began to thrust faster making her scream, his hands held her hips keeping her still as he plowed into her. Her hands were on his back raking down it nails probably leaving scratches but the pain mixed with the pleasure of her walls around his member was exhilarating.

"I don't know how much more I can take." Cried Janeway already feeling her impending release. In response Chakotay's hands left her hips and gripped her arms pulling them above her head as if she was tied up. He leaned down to kiss her slowing his thrust.

"You're going to take it, I'm going to make this last." He said before kissing her again. That statement alone nearly drove her over the edge.

Meanwhile at the party Tom was sitting with Harry and their group of friends drinking small quantities of the planets alcohol. Tom was staring at his glass dejectedly not following the conversation his friends were having. He had planned to use tonight to apologize to the Captain and sweep her off her feet but she had yet to make an appearance and the party had been going on for nearly an hour. Just as he had built up the courage to go find her, Tuvok approached their table worry evident his Vulcan mask slipping.

"The Kazon have entered the atmosphere they are about to land. All personnel need to be on the ship for an emergency take off."

"Emergency take off?" yelled B'elanna "Why are we running we need to stay and fight!"

Others nodded their heads in agreement most of the Maquis.

"We will not bring war to a peaceful planet, that goes directly against the prime directive." Stated Tuvok. "All of you to the ship."

Getting up quickly but still grumbling the group followed Tuvok and the rest of the Voyager crew outside and in the direction of the ship. Suddenly Tom stopped causing Harry to run into him smacking his head into the other man.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked rubbing his head.

"The Captain wasn't at the party she doesn't know we're taking off." Said Tom trying to remember where the ambassador rooms were located.

"I'm sure Tuvok has already spoken to her, Come on Tom we have to go." Said Harry thinking logically.

"No look he's already almost at the ship! I have to go look for her."

"Seriously Tom we have to go that's not your job. I bet she's already on the ship. Let's go keep moving." Harry pleaded worried that they'd be caught off the ship when the Kazon arrived. Tom didn't respond he just began to take long strides towards the center of the colony. Harry stood still for a moment. "Why are you so worried about her?" Still no answer from Tom who was getting far away now, Harry sighed before taking off after him "Ugh I'm coming with you then someone has to keep you from getting killed!"

Captain Janeway was in fact not on the ship but still under the mercy of Chakotay as Tom and Harry made their way towards where she was staying. As promised he had made it last taking breaks every time she was close to finishing to tease her in a different way. Finally however his control was weakening and his stamina was waning. He could feel himself getting closer and closer to his peak.

"I'm so close Kathryn." He moaned driving himself into her at a fast pace starting to lose his precision as pure pleasure took over.

"So am I." she cried gripping his shoulders body shaking. She clenched her inner muscles trying to hold on. The tightening of her around his member was the last straw. He let go inside of her as her body was wracked with waves of pleasure.

"Oh Kathryn." He moaned as he kept coming.

"Oh Tom." She moaned in return. There was a beat of silence as her their eyes locked. Heat crept to her face as his eyes went through an emotional storm. They went from full of lust to anger to extreme sadness in one moment. "I'm so sorry, Chakotay I'm so sorry." She said scooting back to separate herself from him. She felt sick to her stomach at a mistake of this magnitude. Chakotay was in front of her naked and vulnerable and she had just really fucked up.

Wordlessly he began to get off the bed and gather his clothes. Ignoring Kathryn's pleading to talk, ignoring her stream of apologies. She made her way over to him not even bothering to grab her robe there was nothing to hide from him now. She gently placed her hand on his shoulder expecting him to brush her off.

"Kathryn just leave me alone." He said voice icy, head turned trying to shield the slight sheen of tears in his eyes. "You've done enough." Before she could respond the loud bang of her door being thrown open interrupted her.

Harry and Tom stood in the doorway staring at the Captain and Commander staring at them… naked. "_Oh my god."_ Thought Harry trying not to stare as the Captain scrambled to grab her robe and Chakotay quickly pulled up his pants. He couldn't help but notice how nicely built the Captain's body was.

"Kathryn?" cried Tom in disbelief his head reeling. How could his instincts have been so wrong? He had thought for sure that the Captain had feelings for him, she had always denied any intimate interaction between her and Chakotay. The feelings of self-doubt he'd buried over the past few days came rushing back. No wonder Chakotay had been so confident when they had talked it had always been him and the Captain.

"Tom what are you doing here?" she asked nearly hysteric, still drunk and cringing as she struggled to close her robe.

"The Kazon are here… there's an emergency take off, I was coming to tell you…" Tom said trailing off so no one would hear his voice break. His eyes moved from the floor to Chakotay angry heat coursing through him.

"Wipe that look off your face lieutenant. Nothing's going on here." Said Chakotay pulling on his shirt.

"It sure doesn't look like nothing." Said Tom gritting his teeth. Both Chakotay and Tom forgetting that Harry was present and not privy to the love triangle that was going on between the bridge crew.

"Well it wouldn't be the first time you were wrong." Both men stepped towards the center of the room, facing off. Kathryn hurried to throw something on before the men came to blows and if the Kazon were landing they needed to get out of here. Putting on a summer dress she ran back to the main area of the room.

Tom was fed up and hurt, all the filters of his brain weren't functioning as he laid into Chakotay, commanding officer or not. Harry and the Captain stood shocked never seeing this side of Tom before. Chakotay listened to Tom's rant without interrupting letting him run out of steam before rearing back and punching him solidly in the jaw knocking the fair haired man over.

Tom got to his knees clutching his face looking up at Chakotay in shock as he stood over him. "And for the record something was happening but it's _your_ name she likes to moan during sex, just found that out." Spat Chakotay.

"What the fuck?" blurted out Harry eyes wide mouth open staring back and forth between Tom, Chakotay and the Captain. "Tom any explanation?" he asked still not believing what he had heard.

"There's no explanation ensign." Said Janeway before Tom could answer. Hitting her comm badge she paged Voyager. "Voyager, four to beam up." She said knowing there would be hell to pay when they got back on the ship.


	6. Chapter 6: Lovers Who Uncover

Chapter Six: Lovers Who Uncover

As soon as their bodies had materialized into solid matter on Voyager's transporter room pad Tom lunged at Chakotay. Only quick action on Harry's part stopped the enraged pilot from knocking the commander to the floor. Mike Ayala stood at the transporter room's controls in shock as Chakotay and Tom continued to yell at each other voices echoing around the room.

"Gentlemen control yourself!" Janeway hissed trying to regain some normalcy. The affects of the Farsialian liquor were slowing her down, she shook her head this was not the time to be impaired she had to be focused. Behind the foursome Ayala paged Tuvok sensing that the head of security was needed more in the transporter room than on the bridge.

Tom stopped struggling long enough to notice the Captain's strange behavior, how she was slow to react and how you could almost see her trying to appear normal. "You bastard!" he yelled at Chakotay once again pissed off. "How dare you accuse me of lacking morality when its obvious that she's drunk off her ass!"

Tom's words sunk in as slow realization hit the first officer, his head swung around eyes appraising the woman behind him. She certainly seemed a little off her game now that she was on Voyager, familiar territory. In any other situation she would've already broken up the fight and be on the bridge calling out orders.

"Kathryn?" he asked suddenly deflating horror creeping into his voice, her actions flew through his mind had he been so blinded by the thought of being with her that he had missed all the signs. What she had done wasn't like her at all, she hadn't need any persuading in fact she had initiated it. _ I'm a monster_ he thought.

"Is this true Captain, are you impaired?" came a deep voice startling them all. Tuvok stood at the entrance of the room phaser ready, eyebrow raised.

Kathryn straightened up trying to look as dignified as possible in a summer dress with two of her officers and lovers fighting over her. _Two! _She thought. _All this time I've been worrying about keeping one relationship secret and now I have two. No neither one of these is a relationship. Hmm that might be worse, why does drinking turn everyone into crazed sexy fiends?_ Realizing that all eyes were still on her she snapped back into the situation at hand.

"Drunk or not I am still in better condition to Captain this ship then the rest of you. I expect you all to report to the bridge immediately. If the Kazon choose to attack I don't want most of my bridge crew arguing in the transporter room. Understood?"

"Yes Ma'am." They all said turning to exit into the hall. Chakotay and Tom shared one last testosterone fueled look of rage before falling in line behind the Captain. As they walked Tom could feel Harry's gaze boring into his skull. No doubt his friend was hurt and shocked by the fact that A. Tom hadn't shared his relationship with the Captain with him and B. that Tom was having a relationship with a Captain. As bad as he felt Tom knew he had been right to keep this from his best friend until he knew what was going on. Kathryn didn't need her business spread around like that. Not that Harry would say anything but once one person knew somehow other people began to suspect or find out as well.

Now that his head was clearing Tom could feel worry gnawing at his gut. Mike Ayala was Maquis and would undoubtedly ask Chakotay what was going on or draw his own conclusions. Tom knew Chakotay would protect the Captain no matter what but if Mike drew his own conclusions… well Tom knew what he would think. He would think they'd be fighting over the Captain which while was true was not something that the whole crew of Voyager needed to know about. That however was second to his worry about how the two commanding officers had, had sex. He could only be so bothered by that though considering apparently Kathryn had said his name during their tryst. He allowed himself to smirk, that was pretty funny.

He knew he was at a crossroads now he could either let her go, or fight, really fight for her no matter other people's judgments or opinions. Tom knew he would choose the second even knowing she'd been with Chakotay he couldn't help feeling like that didn't matter. What mattered was against their will he knew him and Kathryn were developing real feelings for each other. A wave of contentment spread over him as he stepped on to the bridge his mind was made up and once Tom Paris made up his mind to get something he got it.

The Voyager crew waited patiently for two hours waiting for word from the surface. Finally as anxiety was starting to arise in the officers they were hailed by the elders of Farsial. They did not seem troubled and assured Captain Janeway that the Kazon hadn't hurt them or damaged anything in any way. This put Janeway at ease it was not like the Kazon to be gentle and peaceful.

"If I may speak Captain." Said Tuvok in a low voice. She gave a slight nod, one that wouldn't be picked up by the elder on screen, she knew what Tuvok was going to say. All this talk sounded like a trap to her too but if she ended the call abruptly the Kazon might attack right away.

"If you wouldn't mind my crew and I would like to continue our shore leave at the earliest convenience."

"Of course, of course we look forward to seeing you again shortly." Said the elder beaming his smile somehow not reaching his eyes. Janeway knew then with certainty that something was wrong. She closed her eyes sighing, _Those poor innocent people are going to pay for our escape _she thought.

"I know what you're going to say Tuvok and I agree. Janeway to engineering prepare to go to warp 5 on my mark."

"Yes Captain." Replied B'elanna curtly.

Janeway swallowed trying not to choke on Tom's name the situation at hand not completely over shadowing the predicament she'd been caught in. "Mr. Paris engage."

"Well do you want to explain what the fuck that was about?" questioned an angry Harry Kim in Tom's quarters an hour later. Tom had never seen his friend this upset and hurt, he felt horrible for betraying his friend, for not trusting him. "Come on Tom I'm waiting how long has this been going on?"

"Harry, Harry its not as serious as you think, Kathryn and I we, it just happened way back when she gave me that time off of the bridge. Since then well we've been trying to work things out but the Commander." Tom sneered as he said Commander the sight of him naked with the Captain flashing before his eyes. "has been making things difficult."

Harry waited for him to continue, after what he had seen there had to be more to it. "And?" he prodded.

"And I really like her Harry, I thought she liked me. I guess I was wrong. Tom ran a hand through his hair feeling utterly dejected.

The next day Captain Janeway sat in her quarters at her desk a steaming cup of coffee beside her preparing herself for the unavoidable task at hand. "Janeway to Commander Chakotay please meet me in my quarters as soon as possible."

"I'm on my way Captain." Responded Chakotay in a clipped tone.

Janeway sighed running a hand through her hair and taking a big sip of coffee. She had spent the better part of the night dissecting her actions over the past few weeks. She felt sick and appalled at how her personal life had spiraled out of control and spilled into her professional life. Steeling her nerves she adopted her Captain's face as her door chimed, it could be none other than Chakotay. "Enter." She called.

As soon as the Commander stepped into the room the tension between them was palpable, Chakotay shifted uncomfortably on the balls of his feet not something he normally did, he took pride in his ability to hold his composure but this was a situation he hadn't dealt with before.

"I believe you know why you're here, there's no need to sugar coat things." Said Kathryn. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off raising a hand. "What's been going on the past couple of weeks has gotten completely out of hand. It was extremely unprofessional and I will be putting an end to it."

"Does Tom know this?" asked Chakotay stepping towards the desk knowing the other man wouldn't take to this news to well.

"I will be informing him when we're done here. I'm the Captain Chakotay I am to be detached from my crew not starting intimate relationships and that goes for you as well. Last night…" she trailed off not even knowing where to began with that one, it had been a cluster fuck of epic proportions.

"Last night never happened in my book, I apologize for my actions and that is the last we'll speak of it." Chakotay said simply he didn't want to be reminded of how good Kathryn had felt, how bad it had hurt hearing her moan Tom's name or thinking about her mental state at the time.

"I'm usually not one to ignore things I like to get over them but that's fine by me Commander. Everything is going back to the way it was before understood."

Chakotay gave Janeway a nod, not able to convey a smile. "Understood." With a nod back Kathryn dismissed him, when the doors had come to a close behind him she made another call.

"Janeway to Lt. Paris."

Tom received the call as he was leaving the bridge having just ended his shift. He glanced quickly at Harry noting how his friend avoided his gaze, he had been hoping for a reassuring nod from the young ensign but Harry's reaction just made the knots in his stomach twist tighter. As he rode the turbo lift he found himself becoming increasingly apprehensive, a light sheen of sweat breaking out over his face. _What the fuck is my problem? _He asked himself as the lift came to a stop.

He walked into her quarters and knew his anxiety wasn't irrational, Kathryn was sitting at her desk stone faced, she hadn't even stood up upon seeing him. This was not going to be a pleasant reunion. Somehow he had known what this was about from the moment she had summoned him but he had changed her mind before he could do it again now.

"Tom have a seat."

"No, with all due respect I would prefer to have this conversation standing, with you standing as well, over here looking me right in the eyes. This is a matter in which we are both equals, it effects both of us." Said Tom his indignation slipping out at the end.

"Please Tom, don't make this difficult." Janeway said without emotion though inside her heart felt like it was on a roller coaster, catapulting in her chest.

He reached her desk in a few strides gripping her arm softly but firmly pulling her up.

"You're making a mistake." He pleaded his clear blue eyes searching hers for any hint of what he knew she felt. They were dull and flat hidden behind her pretentious Captain airs, this was Captain Janeway on her high horse not his Kathryn. He put a hand on each of her shoulders and while she didn't fight him she hung her head down and looked away. Tom took a finger and tilted her chin up then found her mouth with his own. She gave no response it was like kissing stone the spark was gone.

Kathryn spoke in a soft voice "We aren't good for each other, we can't do this." She couldn't let herself get caught up in the force that was Tom Paris again no matter how good his lips had felt against hers.

"That's bullshit and we both know it, it's an excuse! It's you hiding from your feelings." Tom semi-yelled in a broken voice suddenly knowing it was a lost cause. Still he had to try, he pushed her against her desk pressing himself against her. Trailing kisses on her neck and jaw bone, parting her soft lips with his tongue.

Slack she let this happen telling herself she wasn't enjoying this, saying stop in her head but not feeling enough conviction to say the word aloud. Tom's hands found the hem of her jacket pulling it from her pants and ripping it along with her shirt over her head. The top of his own uniform soon followed and he pushed her back until they found themselves laying on her desk PADD's and knickknacks on the floor.

"Kathryn I love you." Said Tom burrowing his face between her breasts his right hand slowly finding a path to the hem of her pants.

Her eyes closed and she allowed herself twenty seconds of bliss she wanted to remember exactly how Tom felt pleasuring her, how it felt being with him. "I love you too." She whispered. _Just one more time she thought, I'll let go one more time. _Their coupling was slow and sensual, they took their time enjoying every moment of their joining. Tom knew he hadn't won this fight he knew this would be the last time and he wanted to enjoy every second.

He pressed his manhood against her opening for agonizing seconds before slipping in until he could go no further. She moaned as he filled her and began to wiggle as he slowly started thrusting pulling nearly all the way out before diving back in. They locked eyes and kissed through out the whole time pouring their goodbyes into the physical realm because they were to hard to say. To soon were they both spent bodies quivering and breath heavy. They dressed in silence the awkwardness growing until Kathryn cleared her throat.

"Lieutenant, you're dismissed."

He nodded his head in her direction and with those words walked into the hallway out of her life.


	7. Chapter 7:Time Turned Fragile

Chapter Seven: Time Turned Fragile

8 _months later…_

The senior staff sat gathered around the non-descript gray table in the Captain's ready room waiting for their daily meeting to be adjourned. Chakotay sat beside the Captain eyes darting around the room landing on everyone's faces, B'elanna, Tom, Harry, Neelix all struggling to pay attention. It had been a long hard week for all of them, the ship had been damaged in an alien attack two days before and repairs were still underway. Double shifts were taking a physical and mental toll on most of the crew, the senior officers were antsy to finish the discussion and get the rest that had been eluding them. After what seemed like an eternity Captain Janeway rose and dismissed them all, all but two officers.

Tuvok and Tom shared a knowing look as Tuvok walked out of the door. "Thanks a lot." Tom muttered. The Captain stood with her hands folded over her chair as the room cleared, Chakotay hesitated hovering near the door, Kathryn cast him a look but didn't say anything.

"Lieutenant Paris, B'elanna its come to my attention that there has been some blatant issues with the two of you respecting the fraternization policy. While I hate to get involved in the personal lives of my crew if I keep receiving reports of your off color behavior while on duty, I'll have no choice but to put you on report. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am." Answered B'elanna blushing. Tom's reply was muttered his head hanging down not even meeting the Captain's eye. She felt her stomach tighten and sink, then with a start she woke up gasping.

The events of her dream had transcribed six months earlier and they still gave her a cold sweat. Looking around she noticed her Starfleet sheets tangled in a ball at the foot of her bed her breathing still erratic. Laying on her back she started at the ceiling and began to wonder about the past months something she did often. At first the news of Tom being with someone else had been like a dagger in her core but slowly the pain had subsided and she had moved on. Not to say she wasn't still attracted to him but there was nothing there anymore, to much time had passed they didn't even talk except for when she gave him orders and even Chakotay was doing that more and more now.

Then there was also Chakotay and the hurt on Tom's face when he had saved her life after the shuttle crash, and the pain in Tom's eyes when they were picked up from New Earth. She knew what he thought, it was wrong but it was what he believed. They had been apart longer then they had been together, they had been over long before they started and that was that. At least that's what Kathryn Janeway told herself when she tried to sleep at night.

"Well Harry I think this is it." Said an aggravated Tom Paris as he slipped into the seat across the table from his friend in the mess hall. "She's bailed on me one to many times now, the nacelles can wait hell get Vorik to take a look at them. Why is she so high and mighty that she has to be the one to fix every engineering problem."

Harry Kim just continued to fork Neelix's unappetizing looking dinner into his mouth he knew better than to comment. "She could at least give me some warning that she wasn't coming its not like she to busy for that its not like she's the Captain." Tom halted realizing what he had said, that was one subject, one word he avoided at all cost. Harry swallowed looking up as Tom's face went through an array of emotions before it settled back into a neutral place.

"You're right she could respect your time more." Offered Harry trying to steer the conversation away from the women Tom had brought up. "You know you guys have been having the same fight for weeks now, no offense but is it worth it?"

Lt. Paris sighed leaning back on his chair interlocking his fingers behind his head. "That's the thing Harry I don't know anymore." And to himself he added _I don't know if it ever was. "_Sorry Harry I actually have to go." He continued getting up and briskly walking out of the mess hall. Tom would be lying if he said he hadn't always been attracted to the fiery half-klingon but it was the same way he was always attracted to a pretty girl. When things had ended with, with, god he still couldn't even think her name he had been in a bad place, when B'elanna had shown interest he had grabbed her up avoiding the loss of one relationship if you could call it that by replacing it with another.

He still remembered the feeling of dread he had felt when the Captain had called them out about their actions. How he couldn't even meet her eyes because he had been to much of a coward to tell her, give her some warning. For a week afterwards he had entertained the thought of going to her and apologizing but he kept losing his nerve and then to much time had passed and before you knew it here they were 8 months from when they were together and more distant then they had ever been. She had been creeping more and more into his thoughts lately no matter how he had tried to block those memories out probably because things with B'elanna were going down hill fast and not for the first time he wondered if he had settled.

"Paris to Torres." Tom called when he had entered the turbo lift. "Meet in holodeck one whenever you finish. Paris out." _We need to talk…_

"Kathryn Janeway you are quite the cook." Joked Chakotay as he picked up their dishes and deposited them back into the replicator. "You're the only I know who could get a replicator to burn the food."

Kathryn rolled her eyes choosing to ignore her Commanding Officers jabs. So what that she couldn't cook she could run a starship. Though things had been tense in the weeks after she'd ended her quasi affair with Chakotay their time on New Earth had of course brought them back together. Again they were close enough to hang out and have dinner without any residual awkwardness.

"What do you say we take a trip to the holodeck? I feel like stretching my legs."

Chakotay arched an eyebrow quizzically. "After all the extra work we've been doing don't you want to relax?" he asked sitting down on the sofa she was perched on.

Janway sighed closing her eyes and rolling her neck. "I supposed I should relax my back is killing me." Not a moment later she felt strong hands kneading the knots on her shoulders, expertly working on the locked muscles. Though they hadn't slept together again certain liberties had been taken on other occasions that they had, had dinner; usually starting with a massage. Sure enough Chakotay's warm lips were on her neck sending little tingles down her spine. "It's late." She whispered voice husky.

""You said that last time, and the time before that." Chakotay insisted stopping his movements. "Every time you freeze up, what are you so afraid of?"

Kathryn turned to face him, "I'm not afraid of anything, I just don't want to get involved with anyone you of all people should be able to understand that."

"I do Kathryn I really do but you have to understand that I know you, and I know you're waiting for him. He isn't coming back and more importantly he isn't good for you." Chakotay got to his feet breathing in deeply they'd been here before once every two or three weeks.

Kathryn stood up as well patting his arm. "Chakotay I'm just not ready." She stated firmly trying to believe the words herself. "Goodnight." She called as he walked towards the door knowing he wasn't to disappointed he'd become use to this exchange. To keyed up to sit still Janeway headed out the door a few minutes later who said she couldn't visit the holodeck by herself.

Lost in her thoughts Captain Janeway was abruptly jarred back to reality as she ran into someone in the hallway near the holodeck. "Excuse me Captain." Said a choked voice brushing past and continuing down the hall. The Captain stood in shock for a second, B'elanna was usually more polite than that but she also didn't usually look like she was about to cry.

_What the hell was that about?_ Janeway thought. Still preoccupied she walked into holodeck one not noticing that a program was already running and there was one lone male occupant in the room.

He turned his head as the doors hissed closed pulling his eyes away from his glass of whiskey. "Oh, good evening Captain."

"I'm sorry Tom I didn't realize anyone was here." Janeway said a blush creeping to her face. He didn't make a move to respond so Janeway kept going trying to ease the tension. "Wow Sandrine's haven't been here in a while."

Tom tossed back the rest of his whiskey signaling for another before speaking again. "I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that runs it anymore. Say care for a game Captain?" he asked picking up a pool stick and leaning against it chalking it up. Kathryn eyed him curiously he obviously wasn't sober but there was something else, something that had him twisted up enough to actually talk to her and ask her to hang out.

"Why not." She answered deciding to enjoy this rare opportunity. Four games and many drinks later they sat at the bar having exhausted all light conversation wondering where to go from there.

"I broke up with B'elanna tonight." Tom blurted out, that statement had been on the tip of his tongue for a while now, Kathryn had been the first one he had wanted to tell and low and behold she had just happened to walk into Sandrine's moments after. "I know what you're thinking but it's for good this time, this time it was me who ended things."

"I saw her as I was on my way here, I was wondering why she seemed so upset." Janeway mused aloud.

"We both knew it was coming, knew it for a while actually." He paused to take another shot wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "She claims that I never seemed to be in love with her. I tried to tell her she was crazy I did love her, and I did but she was right I wasn't in love with her." At this he lifted his eyes from the bar and locked eyes with the beautiful red head that was so close to him. "You on the other hand…"

"Tom this isn't necessary you're drunk you've had an emotional day." Said Kathryn trying to save him the embarrassment of spewing out his emotions and regretting them the next day.

"I know Captain, Kathryn but these are things I should've said a long time ago. I owe you a huge apology for the whole B'elanna thing you shouldn't have found out the way you did."

"Tom, Tom if we were to sit here and apologize for everything we'd be here all night. I'm sorry for casting you out of my life so abruptly, for Chakotay, for letting things go to far. If I had, had the sense to take a step back and assess everything early on maybe things would've worked out better." With these words Janeway exhaled sharply as if a weight had been lifted off her chest perhaps this was the closure she'd been hoping to get for so long. "I told myself I was done with you, I avoided you because I knew if we were alone I'd be lost in you again, you have this terrible effect of getting under my control."

He chuckled at this, "You know I had a feeling that was why." His Paris cockiness appearing. "I thought that was great for a while I told myself it showed you still cared if you went through such lengths to avoid me and then it just got to the point where we avoided each other out of habit we worked together but I realized there would be no patching things up and strangely I was ok with that… for a while at least."

They both sat watching each other warily their confessions hanging in the air and being absorbed by both parties. The holographic bartender came over with two more drinks for both of them, which they both took eagerly. This was a pivotal moment, could they go back to the precarious work relationship they had or were they willing to become at least friends again knowing that it could very well lead to something more. The biological attraction was so strong that neither knew if being just friends was really possible.

The computers monotone voice startled them both as it began blaring from the comm in the holodeck. "Power Overload in all main control relays, Warning power overload in all main control relays."

"Damn." Kathryn said jumping up she was in command mode now. "They must've put the warp core back online with remodulating the controls. B'elanna was supposed to switch them back this evening but I'm guessing she had other things on her mind…"

"Warning power overload-" the computers voice abruptly stopped as they were plunged into darkness. Tom had at least been smart enough to grab lights when the warning had first come on. He walked to the door opening the control panel and taking a look.

"Everything's fried, looks like we're going to be spending some more quality time together Captain, we're stuck."


End file.
